Near Death Experience
My previous post “Not the Day to Die: The Mysterious Nilgiris’ Part 1” concluded with a paragraph captioned “Not Dying Today” will bring you up to speed to this point. I referred to something of a near death experience. In my humble opinion “near death experience”, appears to be a term used loosely. The internet is abuzz with accounts of near-death experiences; these would be experiences of people who were declared dead and may have remained in that state for some time before returning to life. Those encounters I would refer to as “return from death” experiences’; for obvious reasons. However, there are factions who would prefer to stick to all things medical and not delve into other territories for additional explanations, hence so be it. Comparatively my experience is more descriptive of a near death one. I did not die; although I may have been close to that door. I did not see any magical lights, inviting tunnels, renowned celebrities or prominent entities. My prevailing symptoms at the time were probably indicators of not being far off. The doctor’s reaction was a further indicator of that.
Not to be Feared
Reflecting on being in that state for a bit (I cannot correctly recall the exact amount of time) is indeed quiet enlightening. I have captured my reflection and experience of that space as follows (see previous post):
“It was a point of no fight, no struggle, both physically and mentally. There was no pain or discomfort; an inability to feel anything. There was a sense of quiet and stillness. There was no energy or need to move. All I could do was just be. I surrendered to it. I recall praying “please just get the two of them back home safe” (my husband and daughter). However, in that state of delirium I became 100% certain that I was not going to die and neither was my daughter.”
Please bear in mind that this was a personal, subjective experience. AI would be astonished at my brief exposé of how it unfolded. I feel no need to say more, no need for further description or greater detail. My brief depiction may already appear to be quite lengthy. I am of this view because nothing else mattered or matters. It was a space of “no fight, no struggle” and no pain; essentially a point of surrender hence nothing more. I was not shocked or surprised by this. Some things are that simple, uncomplicated, succinct. I did not feel a need to process a reel of my entire life or wish I had done this or that or draw in guilt over something or explore sadness, anger, fear or anything similar. There was only a concern for my husband and daughter to be taken home safely which arose and lingered as a mild fragrance. Aside from that, the mind was obedient the body was restful. Not an unpleasant state at all and certainly not to be feared. I am uncertain if it happens this way for others as well given that we are all unique. I had no reason to consider death prior to that experience however, these days I am able to think about it with ease and readiness.
Not on his Watch
There was another element that contributed to my detached response relative to the drastically unexpected events that unfolded, at that time. Faith, trust, loyalty, commitment, knowing and awareness. I have always advocated that one should ideally believe and trust in the existence of something greater in life for when it really matters that connection will provide clarity relative to what needs to be known. We had travelled to India specifically to attend ceremonies that took place over a few days at the Siddha ashram. Generally, my trips and much of the movements in my life are carefully influenced by the divine, more specifically Agathiyar, the revered siddha. I see his hand and influence in much of what plays out in my life on a daily basis. There is an understanding, connection, awareness that has developed over time and proven it’s presence and value beyond worldly existence. In that instance, I was acutely aware that Sage Agasthya would not sanction a trip for me to travel to India, with my family to attend a function in his honor only to meet with death. Not on his watch. A spiritual journey can be an extremely lonely, arduous, ostracized one hence guidance and support from within a reputable path is indispensable in managing challenges and ultimately reaching realization. Can there be hope, courage and assurance in the absence of faith, trust and awareness from something greater?
Life is as Long as it Needs to be
Reflecting on this experience reminded me of someone I know, who constantly prefaces or concludes his sentences by stating, “life is too short” suggesting we should be doing this or that or not doing this or that. After sometime; patience depleted, I caved and argued that “life is not too short, life is as long as it needs to be”. Life is only perceived as being too short if one has unfinished business. My experience was indicative of this; my unfinished business was around the matter of getting my husband and daughter back home safely; in the absence of which I would have been inclined to beckon the next stage of the process. Life being too short suggests that something is incomplete, unfulfilled or unresolved which begs the question, why. My layperson view is if one lives each day propagating the highest good for oneself and others, not hurting or causing pain to any living entity through thought, words or action, caring, helping or supporting those in need, using one’s energy to disseminate love, peace, harmony and essentially seeking to leave a gentle but memorable imprint; one would have accomplished every goal for the day, and a lifetime. We come to realize that nothing else; no other achievements or accolades matter. Living each day in this manner is a sure-fire way to arrive at the exist and not be consumed by fear, unfulfilled desires, unresolved issues or unfinished business. This by no means requires living or having lived a life of perfection which is nearly impossible. Admittedly I am far from that. However, it stimulates us to live in a humble, gentle, simple, mindful manner to not just embrace a peaceful death but to enjoy the time we have been allocated.
